Tips 4 Teens With IEP's

BULLYING

“STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME” is, to say the least, highly inaccurate. In fact, if you are the target of those words it can feel like you are the world’s greatest loser with this great big “L” tattooed on your forehead. You may even start thinking ugly thoughts yourself. Who will talk to me at school? My  friends will all hate me? How will I ever get a date? How many times am I going to have to put up with their ugly comments?

CYBER-BULLYING HAS CHANGED THE GAME

When it comes to the subject of BULLYING,  the internet has allowed the cowards of the world to reach new levels of attack and ugliness just because it is all anonymous. When someone is anonymous it is easy to deny the effects of bullying because the bully cannot see what is happening to the target and the bully has no one to challenge their behavior. Of the students who experience bullying 34% report experiencing cyber-bullying.

On the other hand, bullying face-to-face requires willingness to interact with their victims. More than 50 percent of bullying situations stop when a peer intervenes. This is because bullies are looking for peer approval. Most students don’t like to see bullying but they may not know what to do when it happens. Students need to speak out on behalf of others and empower students to protect those targeted by bullying.

PEER INTERVENTION STOPS 50% OF BULLYING

REPORT BULLYING
 If you are the target of a bully do not think you are alone. In fact, 1 in 5 students (21%) report being bullied during the school year which means that over 5 million youth are targeted every year(NCES 2019). According to the Federal Department of Education 90% of bullying at school is unseen by teachers. The LGBQ community is bullied on school property 33% of the time and cyber-bullied 27.1% of the time. Some students refuse to go to school due to safety concerns. Almost all forms of bullying PEAK IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, specifically 6th grade students reported the highest percentage of bullying (29%) (NCES 2019) Do not forget bullying is not your fault.

PEER INTERVENTION STOPS 50% OF BULLYING

MENTAL HEALTH

So, if you are the target of a bully or you know someone who is how do you deal with the bully and how can you protect yourself? The single most important thing you can do is let an adult who you trust know what is going on. The bully will threaten you so you do not tell anyone anything. The bully is using your fear against you. That is why it is important that you use your voice and your power. Learning how to communicate what your needs are is the powerful skill of self-advocacy—which means communicating on your own behalf, sharing what you need, and then taking -action. Sometimes in bullying situations you may be feeling powerless to change what is happening and your self-advocacy can be very important in stopping the bullying.
Sometimes, youth who are bullied can become depressed, more anxious, or have trouble falling asleep, lower academic achievement, and drop out of school (CDC 2020). They feel unsafe at school. Bullying of any kind is not your fault. Therefore, the more you speak up for yourself the less likely that the bullying will continue.

PARENTS CAN BE A BIG HELP WHEN CHILDREN ARE BULLIED

Talking to your parents is a much better idea than trying to handle this by yourself. No matter what the reason is that you do not want to share what is going on just knowing that there is someone trying to help can make you feel better. In addition there are things that can be done through the 504 or IEP process that can help to protect you. The following is some information for your parents that can help them figure out how they can help you as well.

PARENTS – WHEN YOUR CHILD IS BULLIED

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR BULLYING

• Listen to what your child is telling you
  o Pay attention to your child’s moods
  o Never ignore self-destructive behaviors
• running away from home
• cutting
• talking about suicide

o Watch your child’s sleeping habits
o Look deeper if your child’s grades begin to fall

Make sure you know your child’s schedule
o Watch for reports of lost possessions

• Talk to your child about bullying.
• Help your child build a strong support system.
• Know your rights.

o Learn and understand IDEA., Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act. They all help to protect children with disabilities and make it illegal to be harassed due to a disability.

• Report ALL bullying and harassment to the school

o Meet face-to-face and provide written details of the incidents including the dates, times, places and people involved. EVERY TIME!

o Follow-up on all bullying reports.
o Be willing to move up the chain of command

• Be sure your child is safe.
  o If physically harassed, intimidated, or threatened, request that the school intervene immediately.
• Get your child appropriate counseling or assistance
• Call a meeting

o Call an IEP’s (Individualized Education Program) meeting or Section 504 plan meeting to take specific approaches for preventing and responding to bullying.

BULLYING IS NOT HARMLESS

Bullying is NOT a harmless rite of childhood that everyone experiences. Research shows that bullying can negatively impact a child’s access to education and lead to:

• school avoidance and higher rates of absenteeism
• decrease in grades
• inability to concentrate
• Anxiety
• loss of interest in academic achievement
• increase in dropout rates

BULLYING, IEPS AND CIVIL RIGHTS

The IEP can be a helpful tool in a bullying prevention plan. Every student receiving special education is entitled to a free, appropriate public education (FAPE), and bullying can sometimes become an obstacle to receiving that education.

IEP STRATEGIES TO ADDRESS BULLYING:

• Allowing the student to leave class early to avoid hallway incidents
• Having school staff document and report all incidents
• Educating peers about school district policies on bullying behavior
• Regular reassurance from the school staff to the student that they have the “right to be safe” and that the bullying is not their fault
• Holding separate in-services for school staff (by case manager or nurse) and classroom peers (counselor) to help them understand a student’s disability
• Identifying an adult in the school who the student can report to or go to for assistance
• Shadowing by school staff of the student in hallways, classrooms, and playgrounds.
• If the bullying is done by an adult appropriate documentation needs to be gathered by administration.

Bullying based on a student’s disability may be considered harassment.
The Office for Civil Rights (OCR) and the Department of Justice (DOJ) have stated that bullying may also be considered harassment when it is based on a student’s race, color, national origin, sex, disability, or religion.

HARASSING BEHAVIORS INCLUDE:

• Unwelcome conduct such as verbal abuse, name calling, epithets, or slurs
• Graphic or written statements
• Threats
• Physical assault
• Any conduct that may be physically threatening, harmful, or humiliating

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 AUTHORS

Marie Lewis is an author, consultant, and national speaker on best practices in education advocacy. She is a parent of 3 children and a Disability Case Manager, Board Certified Education Advocate, and Behavior Specialist Consultant. She has assisted in the development of thousands of IEP's nationally and consults on developing appropriately individualized IEP's that are outcome based vs just legally sufficient. She brings a great depth of expertise, practical experience, and compassion to her work as well as expert insight, vision, and systemic thinking. She is passionate and funny and she always inspires and informs.

MJ Gore has an MEd in counseling and a degree in elementary education and natural sciences. She worked as a life-skills and learning support teacher She has been honored with the receipt of the Presidential Volunteer Service Award. She is the Director and on the faculty at the National Special Education Advocacy Institute. Her passion is social justice, especially in the area of education. She is a Board Certified Education Advocate who teaches professional advocates, educators, and clinicians the best practices in education advocacy.